Togetherness

I'd say I definitely do not have my shit together these days - which is ok. I'll figure it out, one day at a time. But I'd also say that's one of the reasons why I doubt I'll actually be able to date someone that I actually like (erh....date in general). Talent and passion and big dreams - those are some of the qualities I value most in a person. But getting a person who's on a trajectory for success to stick with you is hard when you're floundering around yourself.

Hmm. On further thought, I think it comes down to my inner confidence (not self-confidence in the way of "how do I carry myself" or whatever, a much more subconscious thing). I'm still not confident enough to feel like I've got it together....because on a rational level I know I am by no means a failure or even an underachieving human being. I've done a fair bit of things with my life and I've done it in a way that is respectable and virtuous...I care about things...etc. Stupid higher-ed microcosm and design school just makes me feel about two inches tall.

Wow, I just realized I am full of contradictions and paradoxes - similar to Henri Lefebvre's "everyday". Damn you Arch 130.