competition

I've always known I didn't really like competition. In high school, I played sports I was really bad at and had no chance at dominating; and in school I lucked out and didn't really have to try too hard to compete with my classmates. Coming into Berkeley, I had low expectations - no A's, but hopefully no C's either. I have no clue what the average GPA is within my major, but I think it's pretty safe to say I'm pretty average.

There's something in me that always says I can be more though. That's how I find myself, time and time again, in leadership positions, even though I didn't set out to change the world. I could go into that, especially in terms of APAC, but suffice to say...I like to get involved in things. It's largely social - we all need to establish our base of friends and social contacts and establish our own communities in college and in life. And that's whats cool about a place like Berkeley - there's an organization for everything.

However, the nature of diversity and student organizations takes a nasty turn sometimes. There are three architecture organizations on campus, and they all have distinct goals. I'm involved in one of them, and I find myself questioning if I share those goals time and time again...mostly because of communication and because I have high expectations in terms of being organized. That being said, I still stand by the organization. I think one of the other orgs has honorable goals and intentions (and unfortunately they meet at the same time as REACH!), but the third one...I don't get it. I see their flyers posted on the wall right next to ours, in the same color scheme and everything. It's a clear attempt to draw comparisons between the two. Supposedly if I were to want to join, I wouldn't be allowed because I'm in this other organization.

This is really general because I don't want to get into specifics, but suffice to say...all three of these groups compete against each other and for members. All three claim to have at least some component based on friendship, fun, and a break from studio. Studio (and many aspects of the practice of architecture) is SO competitive. Why be competitive outside of studio and in our social lives too?

Gah. If these are who my colleagues and fellow professionals are going to be once I graduate, then I think I've picked the wrong profession. I've got confidence in my work and I can stand up for myself and give credit where it's due, and I know that I'm fully capable of finding a job and being GOOD at my job when I graduate. But as my father said my personality is like water, and I choose the path of least resistance that still gets me to my goal. The constant underhanded and petty competitions, the politicking, the animosity...it's not what I want.