The Italian Saga Begins

Forreals, yo!

Yesterday I received my paperwork for my study abroad stuff...to say the least, it is going to be one major pain in the ass. I don't like the EAP website very much, plus I have to go find all these documents that I don't have and get a bunch of shit notarized...ugh. It's another thing (and by thing, I mean fifty things) to add to the list of things I have to get done, which is starting to crush me. Or whatever comes right before crushing. I know my stress hormone levels are going to be elevated until after I get my visa stuff cleared out of the way in a month =(

Then there's the prospect of going about how to live in another country. I need a bunch of shit (I'll classify it all as "travel equiptment") which I can't afford IN ADDITION to the whole social/cultural/linguistic stuff I've been trying to prepare myself with. The whole process makes my head spin just thinking about it...but man I'd kick myself for the rest of my life if I gave up this opportunity.

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In other things of recent, my buddy group hosted its first "buddy event" last night. I got to cook (I like to cook but I rarely cook good food because it's difficult to cook for one...plus it takes time) and get to know people and hang out in a chill environment. I think that's what I miss most about my recently graduated friends, just hanging out and having one hell of a time. All the orgs and school stuff I'm running around doing are important and fun and interesting, but de-stressing they are not....

Today it was all rainy and gray in the morning (the rain abated in the afternoon) and it's the first day of fall so the poetic whateveritscalled was not lost on me. I didn't really mind it too much though, because as I was walking home with my buzzed friend, the sunset was coming through over the bay. Something about looking west and seeing absolute beauty shine through the clouds, and looking east and seeing the world look dark and menacing but framed in the vibrant reflection of the sun...it's as close to spiritual euphoria as I get. The ephemeral quality probably has a lot to do with it, but at the same time it makes it difficult for me to share that feeling with anyone...which is what I desperately want to do. This is why I can never properly explain how I can claim to love being near the ocean and the beach and the California landscape so much, and yet I don't surf and I don't go hiking and things like that...

This isn't from tonight - I actually took it two years ago from my dorm window - but I didn't have my camera with me today. This was actually on my photobucket site, which I probably haven't looked at since 2005...let's just say there are some memories on there. Some of them are heartbreaking - everyone seems so much more distant now.