Headche.

My head hurts like no other and I blame you. and you and you...

Today I bought a new pair of shoes...at payless. They don't look too payless-y and they are too tall to wear around all the time so it is ok, cuz I wasn't gonna spend $100 on shoes I wear twice. I also bought new underwear/bras and sunglasses and accessories at H&M. Getting off the bus at Union Square is a bad idea, especially when you are wallowing in self-loathing, and ESPECIALLY when there is some event at the end of the week that you need to dress up for.

I don't know if I've got what it takes to run NSU this year. The doctor always tells me my headaches are stress-induced and I got them all the time last fall. It's times like these when I miss Italy - I rarely had headaches there. But at the moment I'm dealing with a lot of personal stuff and grappling with a crippling self-loathing problem. I basically feel like I'm a little bit worthless - not worth anyone's time (in a personal sense).And I can forsee a lot of un-voiced frustration with people coming on this year. So that's probably got something to do with it. I just hope these things don't become chronic...

I'm also really starting to get sad taht my internship is ending. Street Fair went so well and it was a great capstone to my experience. I am also going to mimss having Andersen's bakery and Benkyo-Do just down the street. I discovered strawberry mochi today...it is delicious. And all the Japanese food. And HONU's, my favorite hawaiian joint....I was even getting used to my commute, too! Now when am I going to read, listen to music, and just clear my mind??? Don't even get me started on the PEOPLE either...I love all the interns. Reading the e-mails that get sent out to each other seriously makes my day ten times better and brighter. Sighhhh. Thurs/Fri will be a BLAST though =)