The Sky Is Crying

I had no clue it was going to rain today.

I did have a clue about how my great grandfather has been doing but I just found out that right now he is en route from the hospital to his home. In an ambulance. I can't help but wonder if the next time he leaves his home, it will be in something that doesn't have sirens and lights...which is what makes the other things I did today bittersweet: I bought my graduation announcements, my cap and gown, and my honors cords.

Like many students, my collegiate accomplishments were aided greatly by the love and support of my family, and I always thought my g-grandpa would be there when I graduated. (more about what I hoped he would see out of me to come at a later time -- I don't want to start crying in studio.) Graduation is a time of excitement and celebration, but there are a lot of unhappy things going on at the same time...so at 11:30 I was feeling accomplished and excited and I really wanted to share that with someone, but couldn't because everyone is in class...and when I called my mom...it vanished. Now everyone wants to know why I look like a truck hit me.

I'm struggling to find the motivation to do any school work right now, and I already fucked that part of my life up enough in the past week...I want a hug from my mom and some tea and a blanket.

Shit, I haven't even begun to sort through the other possible mess/possible yay that's in my life.