It's Sunday Night

And I'm blasting all the music I can sing/yell along to!

I don't wanna go to work...because...not because I don't like it. It's not bad work. I just want some more time to not be a "productive" member of American society.

I want one more day to spend at home with my family.
I want one less day of BART/MUNI/AC Transit rides.
I want one more day of fun times with roommates and other close friends.
I want one less day of not having the energy to cook (this really depresses me sometimes).
I want one more day of reading the books I just bought.
I want one less day of fog.
I think, in short, I want one more day of living in my home/college/kid dream bubble.

It was a great weekend though...obon was so much fun and I can't wait to get a hold of some of those odori songs...hahahaha.

Back to It

Well I think I am back to posting on this blog now that I have been in the states for over 3 weeks.

I'm trying to adjust to being back here. It's all very different. Some of my friends have changed a lot and I can't understand where they are coming from anymore. In some cases it is easier to get along with people I am just meeting here, there are no previous expectations of how my relationship with them is going to be. I know that isn't a nice thing to say because most of my old friends have re-welcomed me back into life. But, I am not as good at adjusting as I thought I was.

I'm going to run myself ragged this summer if I'm not careful. I don't think one person was meant to take on NCI and represent NSU while catching up with family and culture, re-starting life, etc. It doesn't leave me with any "me" time, and I just don't feel like I can do it all anymore.

For some reason I don't feel like I can tell anyone all about the crazy mix of things that are going through my head, heart, and soul at the moment. And that makes me sad.

Family visits

My mom drove to Berkeley yesterday to help me with my move-out preparations because I won't have a lot of time between finals and moving out to clean everything up. She deep-cleaned my kitchen, finished the dishes, took out tons of garbage, helped me pack, and steam-cleaned my carpets! Cleaning isn't my thing, so I was VERY appreciative, especially since tomorow morning she's going to LA/OC for her aunt's funeral and everything at work is hectic for her right now.

I missed like five social events but didn't feel all that bad, considering the benefits my mother was giving me and the time we got to spend together. My mom will do anything for me and my sister, and I fail to see that and let her see that I see that far too often.

When I come back from Italy, I'm going to try to go home once every 4-5 weeks. No more being the well-loved but never-there child, missing all the birthdays, the family events, the homecomings, the dinners. I don't hate my family, just the way things are going in the town I grew up in, which is getting worse and worse every time I go back.

I guess I'm leaving my teenaged self-identity formation phase of my life.

Update from Nipomo

First, some backlogged things to say:

My 20th birthday was pretty danged awesome. I took a midterm, tabled for the Count Me In! campaign in the rain (twice), was bored to death in Rosa's lecture......ok so after that it is when it was awesome! Some friends and I went shopping in Emeryville and then more met us at Elephant Bar where they lost my reservation and my food was dry, but the drinks were yummy (yay for Annie's nonalcoholic drink recommendations) and the company was even better! I got some spiffy gifts too, like MUFFINS and a lite brite pen. After that I went to dance practice (the end of it) to meet up w/a friend and we went to papamingos (first experience!).




Then on Saturday I had myself my first (and probably last) party. It was a lot of fun, don't get me wrong, but I am not the setting up and cleaning up and hosting people type of gal...it happens not so often. Major props go to my roomie for dealing w/everything, being 21, and cleaning up when I was feeling like SHIT (I know I didn't have it that bad but seriously next time...can I have fun WITHOUT throwing up? I know that it is totally do-able.) At any rate it was good to see people and chill and to see some friends from out of town (SJ and SF specifically).





After that the world lit on fire, school turned into a MAJOR bitch, and I still haven't caught up on anything...but that's ok. Or at least, I'm dealing!

Back to THIS weekend:

My neighbor went home for her birthday so she gave me a ride! Mama bear and papa bear are in tahoe for my uncle's birthday so it's just the two of us. I got a little car-sick on the way home but it was very mild, just this headache that wouldn't go away till I got out of the car (wierd huh). I went to Santa Maria and picked up fabric for thursday's rally (quite the steal - $5.98/yd, a lot less than what everything else was going for), then went to the store and picked up a bunch of salad stuff cause I felt like cooking. Then I came home to an empty house. 2000+ square feet of empty house is WIERD, let me tell you. Staying by myself wasn't as wierd/scary as it seemed when I was 17, but it is just a lot of space. I'm freezing because the rooms are giant and I would feel bad turning on the heater just for me...ha ha. My sis came home around 10 (after cheering) and we had an uneventful evening.

This morning a good friend came over and we ate breakfast and then my sis and I went to Cambria to THE TEA COZY!!!!! It is officially my favorite tourist spot in the county (besides grover beach). I ate WAY too much as always - mushroom bisque, a sausage roll thing, the chutney + cheese tea sandwich, bread, and Victoria's sandwich (a dessert that has devon cream in it that the owner/waiter called "eating a cloud"). For those that are curious, we had the Autumn tea because my sister didn't know what the hell kind of tea to pick and I liked it last time (though, summer pudding is still my fave). I bought tea to take back to berkeley with me and then we drove around cambria a bit and found a really cool cemetary way up in the trees. I totally would rather be buried there than in a formal one....it'd be more fun for people to visit my grave there!!

Driving back through Cayucos, it started raining...and it didn't stop the further we drove =( I always seem to come home when the weather is SHIT...but later driving around in the rain was kind of fun. Sister and I went to Old Navy and I bought $10 shoes (annie style shoes haha), then stopped by the aforementioned friend's mom's coffee house, then went home. I dropped my sister at home and then went to dinner at McCLINTOCK'S cause even though lunch made me full I REALLY LIKE THE BEANS! (I wonder if Risa reads this?) It was good to see one of my close friends cause I haven't seen her since...July? Wow, a LOOONG time. I also saw a guy I went to high school with who works there (wish I could have caught up with him after work but he went to SB tonight) and a girl I golfed with (daaaang I can't believe she graduated!). Instead of going to target w/the sis afterwards I just decided to sit around and then watch Old School, cause it was dark outside and i was hella cold and sitting sounded nice.

After writing this whole thing, my time at home seems very busy but it was actually very relaxing because i haven't been doing homework, and i've been driving along the ocean and I haven't been sitting in traffic...so driving has been nice =)

Now I'm going to do my homework? My housing application for when I go to Italy? Watch THE OFFICE? Fall asleep? We'll see...