Even Heroes Know When To Be Scared

Note to self...don't listen to defeatist music when you have the biggest presentation of your life (thus far) in a couple of hours. This isn't anything compared to say...moving to a different continent and not knowing a soul on that whole damned piece of land. But it's still the biggest presentation of my life. I'm asking for $1200. I've never asked ANYONE for that much money at once. And I'm not just asking for it for me, but for the 50+ people involved in and 600+ people attending Culture Show 2008. This money is crucial to our being able to put on CS while staying financially sustainable. 

In my arch history readings, there's a lot about golden ages and the rise and fall of certain social groups and civilizations. And every once in a while I get scared, like what if NSU already had its little golden age and I'm just a holdover from that time, old, about to become a fossil. What if NSU can no longer run due to finances and a lack of commitment? I think it scares me so much because it echoes, on so many levels, the predicament of the Japanese American community at large. It will only exist as long as people care enough to support it (financially and otherwise). I've never believed that the community is going to die off or disband within the next 10 years. Never. But in the life cycle of a student organization....10 years is a longgg time. I'd like to see NSU make it to its 10th anniversary, which is in 4 years. I want to see Culture Show in big Zellerbach and with a reputation like UCLA's...not because I think we need to compete with other groups for the sake of being bigger and better...but because the Japanese American community on this campus deserves to have a voice that is just as expressive and powerful as any other Student Org, be it here or on another campus. And when you think of it like that....it's pretty big.

Let's not get too carried away here though. It's a five minute presentation...and one of many that Senate FiComm will be hearing tonight. Five minutes. It takes me twice as long to walk to senate as it does to present.

Why am I having a very difficult time breathing then?

EDIT:

The verdict? $900. But it didn't come easily.