Office Hours

I met with one of my DCRP gsi's today to discuss a paper I'm going to write and found out something interesting about myself. (Anyone who knows the nerd in me knows I adore most of the CP gsi's I've ever had. They're doing what I want to do in 5-10 years, only right now, and they act both as constant sources of encouragement and intimidation for me.)

My paper-writing style: pick a general topic, start to explore all five thousand points, get overwhelmed (and don't really say anything), prioritize, narrow down, eventually a good paper comes out. The narrowing down is the most difficult part for me.

My post-grad life possibilities & career goals: pretty much the same. Where will I go when I graduate? Stay here? Go home? LA? San Diego? Seattle? NYC? Boston? First, I want to travel. Japan? NYC? Greece? China? Where do I want to go to school? Etc etc.

So yeah. My GSI hit me right on the mark. I have the ability and potential to do anything, but do I want to do everything? My biggest battle will be deciding what I want to do most. My track record shows that I tend to do a lot of what I liked to call "ambitious flailing": I didn't know what I wanted to do in College so i applied everywhere and when I got in almost everywhere I waited until practically the last day to decide where to go. I joined a bajillion campus groups in my first 2.5 years and ended up committing myself seriously to a couple. I happened upon Italian by accident and ended up living in Italy as a result. 

But....I've turned out all right and I regret very little. I guess I'm in for a lot more gut-wrenching in the next couple of years. Maybe one day decisions will be easier to make. Maybe not. I think it'll be okay though...whether or not people will judge the hell out of me for it is a different story.